Hi parents,
Just some quick news about our youth program,
The trip to Parkersburg, IA for Saturday has been canceled due to materials being on backorder. The church there may work with us for future dates, so we will keep you posted about that.
We did cancel our after school program today, since school was let out early. This allows me to remind you about our cancellation policy. Regarding after school program, if school is canceled or let out early due to weather, we will cancel. For Sunday night, if our Sunday morning activities are cancelled, so are our Sunday nights. If inclement weather happens after Sunday morning and you wonder if we are cancelled, please check our blog at http://swiftyouthministry.wordpress.com/. I hesitate to cancel Sunday nights if Sunday morning goes for this reason, I always fear missing contacting that one or two students who will drive from Forreston or Freeport to be there to only find us not there. I’d rather be there, try to get done early, and send those who do come safe. But, I encourage your discretion. If you are uncomfortable on the roads, then by all means keep your son or daughter home. I understand country roads can be a terrible mess. Hopefully, we don’t have to deal too much with it this year.
I am pasting the clip from Youth Specialties. There is an interesting article about young teen boys. Thanks and thank you for begin a tremendous parent!
Tyler
PARENT NEWSLETTER #45
December 3, 2008 Subscribe here:
http://www.youthspecialties.com/freeresources/newsletters_subscribe
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CONTENTS
- Tools for Parenting Teens
- Links to Learn From
- Inside Your Teen’s World
- Learn Their Lingo
- A Little Encouragement…And Humor
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*Save 30% off the retail price of “My Family” when you purchase it at the YS Store and use coupon code YPNDC1. This offer expires 12/17/08.
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1. TOOLS FOR PARENTING TEENS
First, it’s important to know that this is a very normal situation for a pre-teen or young teen boy. In fact, it has become substantially more common over the past decade. So, your son isn’t “abnormal” on this one.
But, that doesn’t mean it’s a healthy situation. As a youth worker, it’s been one of greatest new concerns I’ve had for my students in the last ten years. Boys, particularly (girls also, but to a lesser degree), are not learning the skills of friendship. Historically, I don’t think we thought of children and teenagers as needing these skills – friendship just came naturally to them! But today’s 10 – 14 year old is so often isolated, they’ve not learned the skills of friendship in their day-to-day lives.
Boys are naturally less expressive than girls (especially at this age). And our culture has told them “the strong, silent type” is a great male archetype. Even the U.S. Army, which, ironically has learned – out in the field – that soldiers can only succeed in teams, has been advertising this notion like crazy for a few years with their “Be an Army of one” campaign.
Add to these cultural notions the fact that today’s pre- and young-teens have reaped most parents’ desire to “cocoon”, by having a house-full (or more likely these days, a bedroom-full) of toys intended for solo use: television, video-gaming systems, CD-players. Not that these things are all bad. But the fairly normal overuse of them has greatly contributed to this “loner” trend.
So, what can you do? Here are a few ideas:
- Encourage friendship groups. Often, the safest place for a boy to learn about friendship is in a group, not in a one-on-one friendship. Hopefully, one of the best places for this is in a healthy and active pre-teen or middle school program at your church. I know many parents who have chosen their church based on this factor alone!
- Service potential friendships. When you see any spark of potential friendship for your son, find ways to subtly encourage that spark. This doesn’t mean talking about it like crazy! (that will only lead to retreat for most boys.) Instead, offer to drive them somewhere; suggest fun ideas for excursions and make them possible. Also, make sure you home is a “safe” place for your son to have a friend over: a place where he won’t be embarrassed or treated like a little kid in front of his friends.
- Encourage your son, but don’t nag. When your son spends time with a friend (or potential friend), say something positive – but keep it short and sweet. Lengthy speeches will feel like pressure or nagging, and will backfire on you.
- Pray like crazy!
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Mark Oestreicher is the president of Youth Specialties (www.YouthSpecialties.com), the leading provider of resources and training for Christian youth workers. Marko speaks to parents, teens and youth workers around the world, and writes books (mostly for youth ministry and young teens). He lives in San Diego with his wife, Jeannie, and his two kids, Liesl and Max.
Learn more about or purchase “My Family” here:
http://www.youthspecialties.com/shop/product_info.php?products_id=230
*Save 30% off the retail price of “My Family” when you purchase it at the YS Store and use coupon code YPNDC1. This offer expires 12/17/08.
**
2. LINKS TO LEARN FROM
Are Kids Copying Their Parents When They Lie?
http://nymag.com/news/features/43893/
3. INSIDE YOUR TEEN’S WORLD
…Random things you may not have heard about…
A site dedicated to connecting millennials to non-profits and activism
http://millennials.change.org/
News for tweens, by tweens
http://tweentribune.com/
Buy and sell handmade items
http://www.etsy.com/
4. LEARN THEIR LINGO
…Some slang and texting lingo for you to speak (or at least understand)
- All days = 24 inch rims for a car. “Did you see Jr. on them new ‘all-days’ he got?”
- Ball up = An exclamation stating the beginning of a basketball game. A statement clarifying that it is time to start or resume playing basketball now that everyone is ready.
5. A LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT…AND HUMOR
“Seven days without laughter makes one weak.”
~ Mort Walker
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