Dear parent,
Happy new year! I hope you transitioned nicely back to the hustle and bustle after the holidays. I found myself asking, “Where’s the holiday this week?” yesterday. I found myself sad realizing that one won’t come. I pray you had some time to rest and recharge with your familiy this past week, and I encourage you to fight for those moments still when things pick up again.
Some news regarding SWIFT….
Thank you to all the senior high parents who came to the New Orleans informational meeting last night. If you or your teen were unable to make it last night. That’s ok. Just have them pick up an informational packet at SWIFT, and go through it and contact me with any questions.
We are kicking off our Wednesday after school program beginning next Wednesday from 3:00-5:00 pm (extended half hour this week due to an early dismissal).
This Sunday at SWIFT we’ll be talking about the words we use and how to encourage others with words we use, and realize that the words we use are an indication of the condition of our heart. If we say mean and hurtful things, it may be because our heart is hurting. I encourage you to say some kind words to your son/daughter this week to reinforce how valuable words are.
Dates to be aware of…
30 Hour Famine is February 27-28.
Dinnner fundraiser for mission trip will be on March 14. We’ll host a chili cookoff contest (if you have a great chili recipe, please consider entering) More info on this will come in the next couple of weeks.
Feel free to read some encouraging words from Youth Specialties below. Have a wonderful week!
Praying for you!
Tyler
PARENT NEWSLETTER #48
January 7, 2009 Subscribe here:
http://www.youthspecialties.com/freeresources/newsletters_subscribe
***********
CONTENTS
- Tools for Parenting Teens
- Links to Learn From
- Inside Your Teen’s World
- Learn Their Lingo
- A Little Encouragement…And Humor
===========our sponsor===========
MULTIPLE BLESSINGS
Eight children in three years? Impossible! Kate and Jon Gosselin have learned that, through God, all things are possible–though sometimes slightly improbable. This amazing story of faith provides a heartening lesson in what it means to trust the faithful hand of God to provide the strength and courage to make it through life’s seemingly impossible situations.
Learn more and purchase “Multiple Blessings” here:
http://www.youthspecialties.com/shop/product_info.php?products_id=1868
*Save 30% off the retail price of “Multiple Blessings” when you use Coupon Code YPN191 and order by 1/21/09.
================================
1. TOOLS FOR PARENTING TEENS
Question: When am I done parenting? Isn’t most of it done by the time kids reach their teenage years?
In one sense (and you all know this), you’re never done being a parent. I called my dad this week (I’m in my 40s, by the way) to get his advice and prayer (or course, he does the same with me now). And parenting teenagers has, in reality, stretched well into a students 20s in most cases. Adolescence has extended on both ends of its age delineators.
But I have a couple theories I’d like to suggest you consider:
First, you should make this assumption–by the time your child is in HS, most of your parenting is done. That’s not to say that you still don’t have a very important role in her life–you do! But it’s normally a bit late to “change course”. Parenting an older teen (or young 20-something) is more about “staying the course”. More about continuing to model what you’ve already set in place.
You might be thinking: this is supposed to be a column on pre-teens and young teens–I’m not even starting to think about the high school years yet! Fair enough. But the reality I just proposed adds significant weight to this next reality:
You’re on the last lap. Or, maybe the 2nd-to-last lap.
These tender years of 9 – 11 (pre-teen) and 11 – 14 (young teen) are some of the most formative years of life. Kids are still extremely moldable, changeable, open. But as they settle into their mid-teen identity, change come less and less often. This is why I always joke with middle school ministry workers that we are still in “preventive ministry”, while high school work is often “corrective ministry.”
What does a long-distance runner do in the final lap or two? Think of the finish line. Calibrate what needs to take place in this diminishing space. Then recalibrate. Continue to pace yourself and recalibrate again.
Don’t forget these two extremely important facts:
1. You are still the #1 influence in the life of your child at this age. This will begin to shift to their peer group in the older teen years.
2. The almost-absurd amount of change going on in the life of you pre-teen/young teen places them at a small timeframe of massive malleability (yes, I realize it doesn’t always seem that way – but it’s true).
These two facts combine to make these final laps of the parenting race some of the most important of your God-given role.
So don’t throw in the towel. Don’t concede. Don’t abdicate your role to the church or the culture or their peer group. Let God fill your lungs with a fresh air of strength and courage. And take another step. And another.
**
Mark Oestreicher is the president of Youth Specialties (www.YouthSpecialties.com), the leading provider of resources and training for Christian youth workers. Marko speaks to parents, teens and youth workers around the world, and writes books (mostly for youth ministry and young teens). He lives in San Diego with his wife, Jeannie, and his two kids, Liesl and Max.
**
2. LINKS TO LEARN FROM
Popular Girls Easy Targets for Bullying? [STLtoday.com]
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/education/story/16708348C424350B8625752E00082DB3?OpenDocument
Gastric Bypass Halts Diabetes in Obese Teens [Washington Post]
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/29/AR2008122900627.html
Does Community Service Really Change Anything?
http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/1229/p09s01-coop.html
3. INSIDE YOUR TEEN’S WORLD
…Random things you may not have heard about…
Disney and Narnia Part Ways
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display
/news/e3i13db0577bde6c55bae3ef6b6b0397e0f
39 Texts Per Hour!
http://www.mediabistro.com/agencyspy/about
/one_tweens_texting_habits_astound_amaze_provide_insight_104448.asp
4. LEARN THEIR LINGO
…Some slang and texting lingo for you to speak (or at least understand)
- Defriending = The act of removing someone from your Facebook or Myspace friend list.
- 99 = Text message short code for “Parent no longer watching.” (Conversely, 9 is short code for “Parent watching.”)
5. A LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT…AND HUMOR
“Sometimes we’re so concerned about giving our children what we never had growing up, we neglect to give them what we did have growing up.”
~ James Dobson
Filed under: Uncategorized
